Monday, July 28, 2008

A Stubborn Recruiter Clears All Hurdles

B.J.1 of Orange County, CA managed to e-mail me [from a Yahoo!Mail address] a useless Sysadmin contract job after clearing all hurdles placed by me in front of him/her.

Here's what I replied to B.J.
Your persistence is admirable:
1. you noticed that your @deleted.com e-mail is rejected by my e-mail system;
2. you noticed that in the validation page I list your agency as one I have no wish to talk to;
3. you noticed that in the validation page I require to be contacted for Linux kernel/embedded jobs and yet you went thru the authorisation process even if I made it a hurdle.

I salute you for this but I won't change my mind about recruiters who send me useless jobs that DO NOT match my Resume.

Hint-hint: read Resumes once in a while instead of using Control-F in Word!!
-ulianov

1. no kidding, these are his/her initials!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

A Recruiter Sounds Like a TV Infomercial

I got this e-mail today from M.S. from Andover, MA and here's what he has to say:

Subject: Ignore the Economy! We have a high demand for experienced Technical Professionals...NOW!

This could be the most important message you receive all year! Please read the entire message carefully.

Despite the doom and gloom you read in the media the demand for Highly skilled Technical Professionals including Software Engineers, QA and Systems Engineers and developers continues to remain high and is growing.

We are now in a situation where job candidates actually hold the upper hand. Salaries and benefits a growing everyday.

If you have been considering making a move in your career, either to a new level or simply widening your experience base and skill sets now is the time to start that process.

IMPORTANT : IMMEDIATE NEED FOR SOFTWARE ENGINEERS.
I have an immediate need for several Software Engineers from Junior level to Senior and Principal level with experience in backend systems design and development.

[...]

To view all of our open jobs see our website at www.deleted.com

If you are not a Software Engineer we have other positions available and we are updating our website on a daily basis.

Tell us what you are up to.
I am working on updating our candidate database here at Deleted, Inc. and I would like to re-connect with you, find out what your career goals might be and see if we can use our expertise and connections to help you find a more fulfilling job. Whether that means more money, more responsibility or a job at a specific company we can help you with that. Look at it this way. You have worked long and hard to gain the skills and knowledge you possess, and you are very good at what you do.

Let us show You the Money!
But, you are no expert in the business of finding jobs and filling jobs. That is our expertise and our business. It is all we do every day all day and we do it well. It is in our best interest to present you to employers in the best possible light and get you the best position possible with the best salary available. Think of us like an agent for a professional athlete or actor. Only in this case there is no expense to you. We can work our way into your employers of choice, we can negotiate higher salaries or more desirable benefit packages or we can get you higher consulting rates. Let us do the dirty work for you. Your name does not even need to come up until absolutely necessary.

No Risk To You!
All of our services are absolutely confidential. Our proprietary methods allow us to search the job market for you with no risk of discovery by your current employer. This is much safer and more effective than putting your confidential information out on the public job boards. The sad fact is that over 70% of all positions are not posted on the job boards and less than 29% of all positions filled are filled by candidates whose resume was posted on a job board.

I look forward to hearing from you. Finding out what you have been doing and where you want to go from here. I am excited at the prospect of helping you take your career to a new level.

This sounds like a cross between an acne treatment infomercial and one for get-rich-quick. B*rnard H*ldane is not far from this guy in style. Yuck. Oh, the "proprietary methods" BS means calling hiring managers at random.

-ulianov

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

What's a "Direct Client"?

I keep getting spams (via monster) from crappy agencies advertising "Urgent direct client requirement". These creeps must have gone to school together.

WTF is a "direct client"? Recruiter agencies generally don't work for other agencies, they try to find jobs for various companies. Ergo all of their clients are direct.

What's funny is that some bottom-feeding recruiters find candidates and then they pester hiring managers at random to interview/hire them [as related to me by a hiring manager]. So the clients some times don't even know that recruiters work on their behalf.

-ulianov

Friday, July 18, 2008

A Disorganised Recruiter

I was talking to this recruiter from TX and I wasted quite a lot of time on:
1. e-mail exchanges, followed by
2. a phone interview with the recruiter, followed by
3. more e-mail exchanges, followed by
4. a quiz sent on behalf of the hiring client, followed by
5. a phone call from a fax line (!!), followed by
6. more e-mail exchanges asking for a phone interview with the client.

This is a bit too much time spent interacting with a recruiter that cannot seem to make her mind about how to handle me. By this time I already forgot why I wanted to take the job in the 1st place.

-ulianov

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Interview w/ a Startup in Cambridge, MA

Went yesterday to Cambridge to talk to people from this 10-year old startup. To my surprise they are literally next door to MIT. Very interesting: super-cool location, image must be paramount for them.

Nice people, a bit elitist as the subtext goes, interesting work to be done (f/t). Yet no special connection. While their premises were well-lit by daylight they put me in a dimly lit conference room. Not a mood enhancer.

I got a phone call today from their internal recruiter telling me that I did not click with anybody on the team and my personality did not match the team. Yep, just like dating as one recruiter put it. However I really do appreciate him giving me prompt and sincere feed-back.

What puzzles me about them is the length of time they've been around and they haven't been bought and they didn't IPO. Most startups end up somewhere after about five years.

-ulianov

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

An Ode to the Software Developer

A recruiter sent me this job in Tampa, FL.

The job descriptions would be OK if it were not so long. Looks like a poem or an ode and is even longer than Longfellow's Hiawatha!

-ulianov

Summary:  Researches, designs, tests, modifies and develops computer software systems and software programming applications, in conjunction with hardware product development, by performing the following duties.

Essential Duties and Responsibilities include the following.  Other duties may be assigned. 

·         Installs and maintains Linux (Debian) networked development environment on Intel based PCs and Arm based Gumstix products.

·         Configures and manages TCP/IP, USB and Bluetooth interface protocols.

·         Debugs and modifies Linux (Debian) drivers.

·         Maintains SVN source code control system.

·         Experienced in the use of Hardware test equipment and Software debugging tools.

·         Designs, develops, codes, debugs, tests, installs and maintains software.

·         Will be expected to write documentation to describe program development, logic, coding and corrections.

·         Consults with hardware engineers and other engineering staff to evaluate interface between hardware and software, and operational and performance requirements and to identify current operating procedures and to clarify program objectives of overall system.

·         Assist task leader/project manager in developing schedules and project plans. Keep task leader/project manager informed on progress against schedule.

Competency:

To perform the job successfully, an individual should demonstrate the following competencies:

Design

·         Generates creative solutions                                           

·         Translates concepts and information into images              

·         Applies design principles                                                 

·         Uses feedback to modify designs                                    

·         Demonstrates attention to detail

Innovation

·         Displays original thinking and creativity                            

·         Meets challenges with resourcefulness                            

·         Generates suggestions for improving work                       

·        Develops innovative approaches and ideas

Problem Solving

·         Identifies problems in a timely manner                             

·         Gathers and analyzes information skillfully                       

·         Develops alternative solutions                                         

·         Resolves problems in early stages                                   

·         Works well in group problem solving situations

Quality

·         Demonstrates accuracy and thoroughness                       

·         Displays commitment to excellence                                 

·         Looks for ways to improve and promote quality               

·         Applies feedback to improve performance                       

·        Monitors own work to ensure quality

Teamwork

·         Balances team and individual responsibilities                    

·         Exhibits objectivity and openness to others' views             

·         Gives and welcomes feedback                                        

·         Contributes to building a positive team spirit                     

·         Puts success of team above own interests

Job Knowledge

·          Competent in required job skills and knowledge

·          Exhibits ability to learn and apply new skills

·          Keeps abreast of current developments

·          Requires minimal supervision

·         Displays understanding of how job relates to others

·         Uses resources effectively

Judgment  

·         Displays willingness to make decisions;

·         Exhibits sound and accurate judgment;

·         Supports and explains reasoning for decisions;

·         Includes appropriate people in decision-making process;

·         Makes timely decisions.

Safety and Security

·         Observes safety and security procedures;

·         Determines appropriate action beyond guidelines

·         Uses equipment and materials properly

·        Reports potentially unsafe conditions

Qualifications:

To perform this job successfully, an individual must be able to perform the essential duties satisfactorily. The requirements listed below are representative of the knowledge, skill, and/or ability required. Reasonable accommodations may be made to enable individuals with disabilities to perform the essential functions.

Education:

Bachelor's degree (B. S.) in Computer Science, Computer Engineering, Electrical Engineering or Mathematics from four-year college or university; with five plus years related experience and/or training; or equivalent combination of education and experience.

Language Ability:

Ability to read, analyze, and interpret general business periodicals, professional journals, technical procedures, or governmental regulations.  Ability to write reports, business correspondence, and procedure manuals.  Ability to effectively present information and respond to questions from groups of managers, clients, customers, and the general public.

Math Ability:

Ability to work with mathematical concepts such as probability and statistical inference, and fundamentals of plane and solid geometry and trigonometry. Ability to apply concepts such as fractions, percentages, ratios, and proportions to practical situations.

Reasoning Ability:

Ability to define problems, collect data, establish facts, and draw valid conclusions. Ability to interpret an extensive variety of technical instructions in mathematical or diagram form and deal with several abstract and concrete variables.

Computer Skills:

To perform this job successfully, an individual should have knowledge of Spreadsheet software; Development software; Design software and Project Management software.  Proficient in object oriented software development on gumstix processor under Debian/GNU Linux, and Visual C++. Knowledge of client server applications and ability to write code to manipulate custom hardware is desired. Control of remote instrumentation using PC or PC based platform under Windows is desired. Experience with nuclear, biological or chemical detection systems and knowledge of DSP of video signals a plus.

Work Environment:

The work environment characteristics described here are representative of those an employee encounters while performing the essential functions of this job. Reasonable accommodations may be made to enable individuals with disabilities to perform the essential functions.  The noise level in the work environment is usually moderate.

Physical Demands:

The physical demands described here are representative of those that must be met by an employee to successfully perform the essential functions of this job. Reasonable accommodations may be made to enable individuals with disabilities to perform the essential functions.  While performing the duties of this job, the employee is frequently required to sit and use hands to finger, handle, or feel. The employee is occasionally required to stand; walk and talk or hear. The employee must occasionally lift and/or move up to 25 pounds.  Specific vision abilities required by this job include Close vision, Distance vision, Depth perception and Ability to adjust focus.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

A Recruiter's Mini Job-Board or How to Be Annoying

Got a call from a bossy she-recruiter who was hunting for Java skills. She was extremely annoying as she kept asking [and not listening to my answers] what I am doing at the current job (nothing Java) and at the previous job (lots of stuff but very little Java).

Then she urged me to go to her two-bit website and upload my Resume there. I find that quite a few such creeps want me to do that.

Now I know recruiters keep Word Resumes filed in various folders and search them using Windows Explorer's search function for certain keywords. Such is life and this is a trick of their trade.

But the creeps want you to create and account with their sh*tty website, fill umpteenth broken Web forms and then wait for their call. My experience tells me my return from such endeavours is null.

-ulianov

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Interview w/ C**tiza

I got a call from a recruiter about this job at C**tiza which is a startup in "stealth mode". The job seemed like a fit so I agreed to a phone interview. The hiring manager ended up not calling. Hmm.

Then C**tiza started pushing me to go there for an in-person interview ASAP, now! tomorrow!, skipping the phone step. Normally I need the phone talk so I know what to expect and evaluate whether is worth me going to meet them.

As the company was only 5-minute driving from work I agreed to go there.

Met four guys, engineers, nice people. They were extremely interested in my raw troubleshooting skills. The were extremely secretive about what they are doing at C**tiza. Hmm. Weird and sickening.

The hiring manager stiffed me again as he has in a meeting with some VCs. So I wasted 2.5h and did get to not meet the guy. Their idea was that I should come back at a later date, waste more time and meet the guy.

To make matters worse during the interview a flash flood-type of rain started and soaked my car [inside too as I had my windows open... it was a hot day!] and prevented me from getting to it for a while.

Jul 8 update: I heard back from the recruiter: my skills were good but C**tiza was looking for a 3G/4G guy. Same happened to another candidate. And the job description did not have that. Kind of a crappy place if you ask me.

-ulianov

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

A Dumbass Recruiter Calls

I got a pushy call then and e-mail from D.S. of NJ. (It looks that NJ is a magnet of sorts for dumbass recruiters.)

He kept droning on and on in a broken English about a "Sr. Position in Andover, MA", was not providing technical details and he was asking how soon (ASAP!) I can send him my resume.

Then he e-mailed and showed his true colours. Here are some excerpts that I find particularly insulting:
Question 3: Are you willing to work in the Andover, MA?
If not local to Andover, MA are you willing to relocate/find temporary residence at your own expense?
If not local to Andover, MA are you willing to attend an "in-person" interview at your own expense if required by the client?
Question 5: What is your most competitive Salary? Are you willing to negotiate?
Current Base Salary
Desired Base Salary
Question 6: Do you have any current offers under considerations? (If yes, please include timeframe and details.)
So this moron wants people to come and talk to his client at their own expense and relocate likewise. Plus he wants do down-negotiate a candidate as hard as he can.

Question #6 is downright idiotic as even if I had something in the pipeline I would not tell him.

-ulianov