The Most Annoying E-mail Subject from a Recruiter So Far

M.S. of Andover, MA sent me an unsolicited e-mail with the following Subject line:

Urgent: Read Carefully - Immediate need for experienced blah-blah Software Engineers

So this creep is looking actually for ASP/C#/.NET and ActiveBatch. Of course he did not pass my e-mail validation with such idiotic requirements.

-ulianov

A WinCE Job in Montreal?

B.B. of Farmingdale, NJ wants to send me to Montreal, QC to work on a Wind0ws Mobile drivers & stuff for a Smartphone. This bloody creep did not read a line of my Resume or he would have effing noticed that I have no SDL, UML and Wind0ws crap.

-ulianov

What's a "Direct Client"?

I keep getting spams (via monster) from crappy agencies advertising "Urgent direct client requirement". These creeps must have gone to school together.

WTF is a "direct client"? Recruiter agencies generally don't work for other agencies, they try to find jobs for various companies. Ergo all of their clients are direct.

What's funny is that some bottom-feeding recruiters find candidates and then they pester hiring managers at random to interview/hire them [as related to me by a hiring manager]. So the clients some times don't even know that recruiters work on their behalf.

-ulianov

A Recruiter's Mini Job-Board or How to Be Annoying

Got a call from a bossy she-recruiter who was hunting for Java skills. She was extremely annoying as she kept asking [and not listening to my answers] what I am doing at the current job (nothing Java) and at the previous job (lots of stuff but very little Java).

Then she urged me to go to her two-bit website and upload my Resume there. I find that quite a few such creeps want me to do that.

Now I know recruiters keep Word Resumes filed in various folders and search them using Windows Explorer's search function for certain keywords. Such is life and this is a trick of their trade.

But the creeps want you to create and account with their sh*tty website, fill umpteenth broken Web forms and then wait for their call. My experience tells me my return from such endeavours is null.

-ulianov