Attack of the Cyb3rC0ders Drones

Lately this outfit has been blasting my M0nster-listed e-mail address with "personalised" e-mails that read

Hi Name,

I noticed your background and thought you,
or someone you know, may be interested in
finding out more about our new job opening,
which is pasted below for your review. 

The position is for a Title in Location, State.

[...]

Good luck in your searches,
Scumbag

Scum Bag | Executive Recruiter | Cyb3rC0d3rs
Read my full recruiter bio!

Cyb3rC0d3rs | address | optout

The opt-out link is not working: I keep getting spam from these low-lifes.

Obviously these ads are matched using keywords and they don't match at all what I do for a living. I have to block this scum outfit in my mail server.

Jun 16 update: these trolls are carpet-bombing my Dice e-mail address; they are fishing for resumes on Dice.

-ulianov

A Dodecalogue of Candidates' Sins

This person is spamming a LinkedIn group that subscribe to with gratuitous career advice but once she got it right: 12 Deadly Sins that Kill Your Job Search .

However I disagree on some finer points:
- #1 May be advisable especially when you want to "thin out" your experience for a position for which you may be perceived as over-qualified;
- #3 Cover letters are use by recruiters as trashcan liners period;
- #12 While talking to your references is a good idea, if they give you too "stellar" references that make you seem like a super-hero the references may sound fake. I think the references should reflect your work and be a fair representation of you as a person.

-ulianov

"Season's Greetings" From Recruiters

This year there's a new fad among them recruiters: they carpet-bomb everybody with "greetings" e-mails.

This is pointless as:
a) one does that only to the fellow employees in a professional environment;
b) coming from a recruiter this looks like spam -- maybe I corresponded with 20 this year? I get 20 greetings then?

-ulianov

Another Attack of the Resume-Grabbing Drones

This is an agency that ping-ed me once about a job. I was not interested. Apparently they have fished my e-mail address from Monster and have started this new & improved spam campaign.

Foobar Placement Services, LLC has just launched their new and improved website. It has some interactive features you can take advantage of today!

Foobar Job Alert - Simply register your search criteria in our Job Alert function and you will be notified via email whenever a job is posted to our website that fits your criteria. You will also be entered into a quarterly raffle to win tickets to the See Science Center just for registering.

Email a Friend - If you happen to be searching our jobs and see a position that could benefit a colleague, you can easily forward that job posting to them.

Polls - There will be new poll questions and results every month on hot topics related to the current employment market.

Timecards - Easy access to our standard timecard that can be printed for contractors currently on our payroll.

Please visit our site www . foobarplacement . com and allow Foobar to start working for you!!

Regards,
The Staff at Foobar Placement Services

-ulianov

Job Posting on Crāigslist/Tōrōnto

Here is a mock job posting on behalf of the typical agency I found on the list:

[...] Our tense, open-concept, uninsulated work environment, emphasis on work-life balance (90%-10%) and tepid rewards help make us nearly indistinguishable from the rest. Founded too late in the tech boom, our state-of-the-warehouse-art headquarters is located beside a busy stamping plant.

We are looking for developer wannabees to restock our demoralized developer pool and be another faceless cog in our digital sweatshop.

The Softheaded Engineer is mainly responsible for generating billable hours. If the customer complains, the Softheaded Engineer is then responsible for the lack of technical specifications, technical design, code, unit and integration tests, despite the insane schedule and zero budget. He/she will also be subjected to ridicule at unscheduled occasional design and code reviews, none of which results in high quality software services and offerings. The deliverables are expected to pacify, or at least confuse the customer, by at least seeming to meet the statement of work. Softheaded Engineers are also responsible for continuous post-release fixes to bugs that were hidden from the customer. Softheaded engineers rarely participate in initiatives to improve processes, standards and practices. [...]

• The ideal candidate is a programming whiz with low self-esteem, with degrees in Confuser Science, Election Engineering, or Behavioural Physics.
• 1 - 2 years industry experience desired, max. Any more and you'd know enough to avoid shops like ours.

I think the best bit is «The deliverables are expected to pacify, or at least confuse the customer.»

-ulianov

A Call from a Finnish Recruiter

Last year I talked to a Finnish agency and that ended up with a job offer from Nokia, so this things are for real. Yet this guys wrote to me from a .hu e-mail adress. His name is Finnish tho. Strange.

I did find your contact info from the Romanian Bestjobs website. Consequently, I would like to inquire your initial interest in co-operation in a field of IT consultation in Finland/other Scandinavian countries as we are looking for the contractor/consultant to work in our customer projects.

[...]

Mainly we are looking for consultants to a project based assignments. Projects duration vary from 6 months to a year.

May I ask you what would be ideal position for you?

The last question sounds interesting or it may be this guy's wobbly English.

-ulianov

An Annoying Piece of Virāl Mārketing

I got in the e-mail this piece of personalised "new-medium" marketingspam from an agency I had interacted with in the past:

You've trusted Ant & Bee with your resume over the years
and our Recruiters have been working hard to help you with
your job search. I would like to personally thank you for
working with us and also take this opportunity to extend a
new service too you:

Control your own career.

”Worker ants. Busy bēes.®” is our recruiting engine at work
on Faceboōk. Using the exponential power of referrals, you
can now tap into Faceboōk's 300 Million users to help you
find a job. Just like Wikipēdia transformed encyclopedias,
we believe social networking will revolutionize your ability to
post your resume and find a job.

As the President of Ant & Bēe, I am extending you an
invitation to join me in revolutionizing the Recruiting industry.
I encourage you to send me a friend invite on Facebook
(Find me as Alecō Bōrba, http://www.facebook.com/aborba?ref=name)
and to post your resume too (http://apps.facebook.com/antandbee).

You and your friends get the benefit of referral fees paid
directly to you, and employers get the benefit of hiring
someone that was referred by a friend.

See you online!

Alēx Bōrba (aka Alecō)
President
Ant & Beē Corporation
facebōok@antandbēe.com

These creeps will use any medium or channel to advertise their inept slogan and ineffective [for me] services. Somehow this "ant" metaphor (and the knowledge of the nature of ant hills) suggest a sweatshop to me. Just an impression tho.

An their use of the (R) character in a piece of spam is sweet!

-ulianov

P.S. I use "funny" characters to shield this page from being indexed by a search engine for the wrong reasons.

When Spammers Read^H^H^H^HRip Off Job Boards

Monster is magnificent at letting spammers harvest e-mail addresses. I had to change my Monster e-mail address thrice so far.

But what do you do when you address is myaddr@mydomain.com and spammers send you mail at myaddrdd@mydomain.com? Well make up a fake MTA and pick it up and see what they wanted.

The most shameless spam I got this way had a "confidentiality" notice attached to it which read:

                No part of this newsletter may
                be reproduced in any form or by
                any means, electronic or
                mechanical, including
                photocopying, recording or via
                any other information storage
                and retrieval system, without
                our written permission.

And the spam was even copyrighted!

Cool! You have to admire their gumption.

-ulianov

An Annoying Trait of Character

K.DE. of Burlington, MA called me about a contract at a company (A) that had called me before. Last time A was looking for a Principal Eng. but was quite unwilling to pay the market rate so I did not waste time engaging them.

So I knew what to expect of A.

The recruiter e-mailed me than talked to me and promised to submit my Resume to the company. All fine. Early next day he calls asking if I am "sure" about my pay rate. As a matter of fact I am and I am charging exactly the amount required for my skill level and experience.

Don't you find that recruiters keep bugging you asking whether you are "sure" about your rate? Maybe you have doubts and are willing to work for less? How about 60% less?

I find this to be a very annoying flaw in the recruiters' characters. What irks me is that after I secure the contract the recruiter becomes a humongous parasite that makes $15-20 for each hour I work. So for a week this guy makes $800. For six months say $19,200.

Not bad at all I say. And as he's pushing you to charge less he will get more which in my book is unacceptable.

-ulianov

Being on the Other Side of the Fence

My current employer uses us chickens (aka. contractors) to evaluate potential new hires [other contractors].

So I got to see how hard is to recruit a new hand. The fact that the company is located in a forsaken hole in Upstate NY does not help either.

So I got to talk over the phone to "embedded Linux" programmers. About four of them. Three were beyond hope, having no idea about the topic at hand.

One of them was such a retard that was not able to parse our technical questions an kept droning on and on and on how "we" (i.e. people at a former company) did this. His blabberings had no bearing on the current question being asked of him.

And I find that when a candidate says "we did this and that" he actually did not do any of that and is taking credit for some other people's work. This is just WRONG because a candidate is evaluated based on his own skills and accomplishments.

Coming back to the fourth potential hire: they guy gave half-decent answers to technical questions but (and this is a big one) his past six positions read literally "Some Company in Some Place in MA or NH".

This just does not smell right to me. Queried by the hiring manager he stated that he did that because recruiters would keep calling him and asking about openings at past companies.

In my experience this is a lie: a recruiter would not waste his time this way (as he knows contractors come and go and don't maintain links to the powers-that-be at past companies). Also in my experience a recruiter asks only about whether the current company is hiring [which stands to reason].

On a different note I started asking questions and challenging a candidate's answers. I must admit that I was a bit unprepared at first (I did not have a mental list of things to ask) but lately I quite enjoyed it.

-ulianov

The Worst Formatted Email from a Mor^H^H^HRecruiter

This is the ad (click on it to see better):
And the prize goes to K. who inflicted a horrendously formated piece of spam upon me (see below). Note the miss-speleling and the funny looking vertical bars that showed up real nice in my Yahoo mail.

What's worse this clueless recruiter wants .NYET, Visual Basic (the horror!) from a Linux developer.

-ulianov

On Being Idle

I got a job in NY in Dec 2008 so I am busy with that. I stopped taking calls from recruiters or checking their e-mails. Anyways their memory is short so this has no implication for future "relastionships". (Have you tried talking to a wall? Did it talk back when you were not stoned? ;)

I must say that I do keep in touch with those recruiters I like (only a handful of them). A polite refusal of a job offer goes a long way.

-ulianov

P.S. I see that most of the hits on this blog come from people googling for "What makes a good resume?" [which BTW I am not answering]. This is boring. I want controversy!; I want to be in the recruiters' face!

Unusual Job Ad in Phoenix, AZ

M.C. sent me this ad for a "Direct Embedded Position" (up to 95K):

You'll be writing C/C++ code for Diagnostic Equipment
OOD and UML Technologies
Experience with Graphical User Interface

Desired Qualifications
- Embedded Linux
- .NET and C#
- JAVA
- HTLM ,XML and SOAP technologies
- Development experience using networking protocol (TCP/IP, UDP, SSH, SSL)
- Experience with low-level driver development
- ClearCase / ClearQuest tools
- FPGA/CPLD logic using VHDL code

Alas at this moment I am busy professionally but...

I simply love Phoenix, I am a total groupie when it comes to Phoenix [and I am a male] and I'be been looking for something there for two years.

The sour grape in this is the C# which is the very last thing I would do, the second to last would be working for Micr0soft [I shall blog about my interview there one day].

Other than that it looked great, especially the dollar figure (jobs in that area have a ceiling around 80K). I did not answer this call.

-ulianov

Job Ad for NaviG* in downtown Toronto

I got a job ad for a "Mobile Software Specialists" from a local recruiter:

- CS or EE degree (or equivalent)
- 3+ years relevant experience
- self-starter, energetic, disciplined
- strong C++ programming skills
- experience with building applications to run with limited resources
- experience with Windows Mobile application development
- exposure to GPS based applications
- strong mathematical background, especially as related to mapping
- some experience in GUI design and implementation
- a solid understanding of algorithm design principles
- experience with Linux and client/server applications
- familiarity with TCP/IP networking
- familiarity with MySQL and SQL-Lite
- familiarity with a range of programming languages: C, Java, Python, Perl, Awk
- an interest in the company's core business lines

And the employer reckoned CAD 90K is a way too high for this. Yep, as a wise man said put there everything under the sun and pay at the new grad level.

I have seen this job ad for a few months so I reckon it's hard for them to match talent/skills with low pay.

-ulianov

Perl Jobs, Revisited

I saw a req for a Perl contract in Toronto that reads:

One of our dynamic clients in Mississauga is looking for a highly skilled Perl Developer for a contract to full-time position. This company has developed a B2B application that is used by the travel industry. The Perl Developer will be required to translate software requirements from their clients and produce the desired outcome, based on the technical specifications. In addition, the Perl Developer will make proper use of source code control, tickets, and other project tools to meet task requirements. [...]

There are two points here:
1. dynamic client is a new piece of nonsense in recruitspeak;
2. the pay range ($31.35 to $36.30 per hour) is twice laughable: it's precise to one hundredth of a dollar (I mean thirty-five pennies?) AND that is very low.

Again Perl is treated like Cinderella, and I really love it (i.e. the programming language).

-ulianov

An Avid Reader?

Today I was looking at my logs an noticed that somebody from the IP address 137.71.23.54 (which is registered to A*alog Devices) read 56 postings of my blog. He or she discovered the blog by googling for "Cambridge, MA Startup".

And this person spent between one and two minutes reading each article. Just hope it's not another recruiter ;)

A funny bit: somebody from Portsmouth, NH got to my blog via a web search for

How much house does 85k salary get me [in] Andover?

-ulianov

AWOL Recruiter Resurfaces

I was complaining in this post that recruiter X left me stranded on an interview as he quit his job the very day.

Today he resurfaced: he contacted me via Linked In and asked for my Resume.

Then we talked over the phone and I asked why he quit his previous job. He replied that he moved to a bigger company that staffs contracts with the US government and that he felt that this job would be more secure as the gov't will need contractors regardless of the economic situation.

-ulianov

On Flying a US Airline

I am back from an interview in Boston, MA.

They put me on a one-stop flight from YYZ to BOS. The stop-over was in Philly. Big mistake. Actually the 1st mistake was accepting this flight instead of insisting on a direct flight to Boston. But the company had already paid for the flight when they e-mailed me the itinerary and I did not want to fuss over it.

When I got to the airport I got the first shock: US airlines now charge $15 for each piece of luggage checked in. Luckily I had every thing packed in one carry-on bag.

On my first stop on Philly my departure flight to Boston was delayed 45 minutes while burning gas on the tarmac. As the plane left the gate at the prescribed hour it was reported as "on time". This sounds like a nice scam to me.

On my way back in Boston the airplane has taxied for 90 minutes wandering thru various places of the BOS; I think they were sightseeing. They said there was a "security issue" at Philly and they were not departing. To add insult to injury they said they burned to much fuel and may have to return to gate for refueling.

A frequent flier told me that nowadays airlines only carry the minimum legal amount of fuel. This reckless stinginess may lead to some problems in the future.

Eventually we departed. When we touched down in Philly we kinda hanged around on the tarmac as they had to cross TWO active airstrips in order to get to the gate. Half an hour of this. Kind of idiotic traffic planning IMNSHO.

Again we departed "on time" but we waited in a queue of 32 planes for about 45 minutes. Another example of brilliant airport planning.

So I arrived in Toronto one hour late. I am told that this is very common with US airlines. And I thought that Air Canada sucked big.

-ulianov

P.S. I wasted seven hours travelling each way on something that could have been a 90 minutes flight. Next time I shall not let myself be talked into such a crappy deal.

Market Volatility Hits Recruiter

I had a phone interview scheduled for today by recruiter X from a Massachusetts agency. The hiring manager did not call so I phoned X first on his agency number (no answer), then on his cell number.

X answered and told me he's no longer with the agency as of today. Bummer. I am in limbo with nobody able to reschedule my interview. I phoned the hiring company and left a voice message for the hiring manager.

Here I was thinking: wow! things must be quite in turmoil in the US if I get the rug pulled from under my feet like this. This is the last thing I would expect from a recruiter.

Eventually the hiring manager phoned; after the interview I managed to get thru to a replacement recruiter.

-ulianov

The Two Heavy-Weight Interview Questions

The two make-or-break non-technical questions I encountered in interviews so far were:
1. What is your dream job?
2. Where do you see yourself [your career] in five years?

So far I gave honest and direct answers; most of the time it has worked out good for me as long there was some inter-personal chemistry with the interviewer. Lately I learned that actually you should not do so.

B.O. of Norwood, MA wrote a preparatory e-mail for my interview with a company in Maynard, MA. Here is what he put in writing:

Don't fall for the "Dream Job" question! Managers will often ask about your ideal position. Your answer should be a paraphrased version of the description for the job for which you are interviewing. Otherwise, the manager may assume that you are not interested in their job.

Over the phone he added that if the candidate sets out goals that are far-fetched and he/she does not have the skills for it then he cannot assess himself correctly and therefore is unfit for the current job.

Also there is a latent fear that if the dream job is more than is being offered the candidate will take off at the first opportunity.

The exact same reasoning applies for the second question. The same answer should be applied.

My own take: this is BS by the truckload as people change jobs [in my profession] every three years and they always want more if they can get it. But as with many other things one must learn to play this part to the correct tune in order to go over the hump.

-ulianov

A Nice Chat with a Romanian Recruiter

From time to time I get calls from Romania as I left my Resume posted there to test the waters and keep an eye on the job market.

E.S. of Bucharest, Romania seems like a nice fellow endowed with a sense of humour (this is not something readily available in the recruiters populace). I shot back a short e-mail at him asking for pay level and letting him know I have this blog.

Here's an approximate translation of what he replied:

[...] Judging from the number of talks you've had with recruiters one could say you are a quasi-pro candidate :)

The reasons why I haven't given you more details about the payment level at this stage of our conversation are:
1. the employer only gave us a range, not a fixed number; the actual number is negotiated directly between employer and candidate according to your level of experience and according to the pay scale of the respective company. [...]
2. the specificity of the Romanian job market (rather chaotic with significant pay variations for equivalent positions between similar companies and even within the same company). The salaries are supposed to be confidential so they never get published on a job posting unlike the Western Europe and N America where the market is well-structured and one can speak of a "market level".

Well I've been at this for 10 years so I am a pro altho this blog only extends six months in the past.

He provided me with good insight on things that happen back in Romania: nothing much has changed in eight years; employers still rip you off at every turn (think of the intra-company wild pay level variations).

The only thing I don't have an answer for is whether employees are still treated like property or garbage as it happened 10 years ago. This should have improved because of the massive work-force drain towards the Western Europe at the end of 2006 but you never know.

-ulianov

Recruiters have Problems with HR Drones Too!

I was talking to B.O. of Norwood, MA who's a fine recruiter. He was trying to submit me for a position in Maynard, MA. He was insisting that I add some lines to my Resume to stress my experience with "x86, SMP and TCP/IP".

Now my Resume speaks loud and clear about these topics and I explained to him why. However he was still insisting and eventually admitted that he has to go thru a HR person and he wanted that monkey (my description, not his) to recognize the keywords he/she was looking for.

Aha, so recruiters can be as frustrated by HR monkeys as everybody else. And they soo deserve it ;)

-ulianov

An Interesting Note on How To Not Hire A Job Applicant.

This guy makes an interesting inventory of no-nos on his blog.

In my experience I encountered situations:
#1 "Make sure the job's responsibilities are unclear",
#6 "Make it clear in the interview that you're reading the applicant's resume for the first time" (very often, apparently hiring managers are busy-busy people),
#7 "Take personal calls during the interview",
#9 "Be absolutely inflexible about benefits" (very much so with big companies; stingy small companies also chime in on this)
and especially often
#10 "Be evasive about your company's financial health and market strategy" with start-ups.

And the best part comes in a comment of his entry:

Fill the job requirement with every computer language, operating system, database, application, middleware product, and hardware brand the last employee ever touched and require 10 years of experience in each. Pair that with a salary offer appropriate to a new college grad.

-ulianov

A Toronto Recruiter is Green to Boot

Got a call today from a young recruiter working for a local agency. She asked to speak to me and said she had a job. She wanted to know whether I am still looking for work.

Then I started to ask the "golden three" questions (location, pay rate, job description).

She said that the job is in the Greater Toronto Area (which is pretty big). I tried to get her to narrow it down (for there are some areas of the GTA where I don't go because of a ridiculously overpriced toll motorway that's involved). She said that before seeing my Word Resume she can only say "Toronto".

Hmm, then I asked about pay rate and she started to give me super-BS about how she won't do that until she sees a Resume. Oh my. I stated my last hourly pay rate which is about double what the average annual salary [in my line of work] in Toronto is. She started quoting from my workopolis profile where I listed "between 75 and 100k" which is a wide range which makes it useless.

I tried to explain to her that she's kind of new in this block and "time=$$" thinking that she gets the idea that she's wasting my time. She stared to blabber about her time being precious too and that she must "follow procedure".

Well, faced with such blatant pigheadedness I said "goodbye" and hung up on her.

Dear Recruiter, whoever you are, please keep these things in mind:
1. you are annoying people in various ways;
2. being inflexible and trying to have people follow your script makes you even more annoying;
3. unwillingness to talk about dough makes you look like a conceited stiff as the candidate will have to learn about that eventually, preferably before wasting his/her time to go for a face-to-face interview;
4. sometimes the people you call do know about your profession more than you do.

-ulianov

An Eternal Recruiter's Hook & Bait

S.S. of Burlington, MA sends me this boilerplate hook & bait:

I recently came across your online resume and after reviewing your qualifications, I feel you would be a great fit for an application developer opportunity we have available. Please feel free to contact me at your earliest convenience and we can discuss this opportunity in further detail.

Three cheers to this: no location, pay rate or even job description. A conversation opener as they call it. I hate when they send me such useless e-mails.

-ulianov

A Recruiter Misfires on an Ottawa Job

Z.L. of Newton, MA writes:

I hope this email finds you well. My name is Z.L. and I am a Technical Recruiter for Deleted’s engineering team based in Newton, Massachusetts. I saw your skills and experience on Dice.com and wanted to reach out to you to see if you would ever consider a web developer position with Deleted. The position entails working with Javascript and PERL. We have a number of exciting projects going on in our Ottawa branch and your skills match up really well with the caliber of candidates we are looking for right now. If you are interested in learning more please don’t hesitate to contact me.

The only thing he got right is my love of Perl but he did not catch my dislike for LAMP jobs, be them Perl or PHP. What's worse he did not read one line of my Resume.

-ulianov

Micr0soft is at it Again!

B.A. of WA who works for a a recruiting agency that subcontracts for Micr0soft HR sent me the following note:

I found your resume on the internet. After reviewing your skill set I thought you may be interested in our upcoming recruiting event. Please review the description below and let me know if you would be interested.

Have you imagined yourself working for one of the largest software development companies in the nation, and working on cutting edge technology?

....

Thank You and I hope to see you in Redmond.

There are a few things that annoy me: he sent me the e-mail from an address that is not @micr0soft.com (which is already blocked in my e-mail server) and he's fibbing: the e-mail address he used is one that I planted only on monster and dice so he did not pick it off the Internet.

-ulianov

P.S. He got stuck in the e-mail validation step. Gosh it's so good to have that. Nevertheless altho the e-mail sent by these creeps bounce [and they see it as "Not Sent"] I do save a copy so I know who called ;)

A Recruiter that is a Useless Tosser

C.B. of NC wanted to hook up with me on LinkedIn with the following pickup line:

I hope this finds you well. My name is C.B. and I am a Technical Recruiter with the Deleted Group in Raleigh Durham, NC. I wanted to contact you, not for the initial intent of asking to be in your network, but because your resume is impressive and reflects a lot of what we are looking for in an Embedded Software Developer. We actually have a direct hire embedded position with a GREAT company that is new to the Raleigh area. I have the job description but they are too long to include in this memo. Is there an available email address I could send them to? Thanks, I appreciate all your help. Thanks in advance, C.B.

Mind you, the lack of line breaks and the churning of words (not unlike James Joyces' stream of consciousness) belong to her.

I connected with her and sent her an e-mail and learned that she has a f/t job. Bah.

-ulianov

A Super-Stingy Employer in California

M.M. of Burbank, CA sent me this funny piece (in a e-mail that uses many font colours):

The ideal candidate will be someone who only has a couple of years exp. a real go-getter, they DO NOT want to see candidates with more than 4-5 years of exp. they would like to mold this person and looking for candidates who are interested in growing with the Company into a Director level at some point. Must be very FLEXIBLE. Needs a “trainable” type person. Culture is Jeans & T-Shirts, no sandals or shorts. Interviews will be conducted of a panel of managers & leads in the group.

The position will pay a base salary between $80-100K and this is based on salary history. We offer a base salary, bonus (not eligible this year), Stock options and matching 401K. Local candidates are preferred but a great candidate with all the intangibles would be worth taking a look at from out of state. They do an EXTENSIVE criminal background check.

The requirements are on the hacker side (e.g. SoftICE, 2+ years of MS-Wind0ws drivers), yet they are exquisitely, bitterly cheap for California.

Such stinginess gives me the creeps. The company makes forensic analysis tools sold to law enforcement. Must be making lots of money for them... And to add insult to injury they do EXTENSIVE checks on you; I bet they even fingerprint people. Yuck, yuck, yuck!

-ulianov

The Most Annoying E-mail Subject from a Recruiter So Far

M.S. of Andover, MA sent me an unsolicited e-mail with the following Subject line:

Urgent: Read Carefully - Immediate need for experienced blah-blah Software Engineers

So this creep is looking actually for ASP/C#/.NET and ActiveBatch. Of course he did not pass my e-mail validation with such idiotic requirements.

-ulianov

A WinCE Job in Montreal?

B.B. of Farmingdale, NJ wants to send me to Montreal, QC to work on a Wind0ws Mobile drivers & stuff for a Smartphone. This bloody creep did not read a line of my Resume or he would have effing noticed that I have no SDL, UML and Wind0ws crap.

-ulianov

A Stubborn Recruiter Clears All Hurdles

B.J.¹ of Orange County, CA managed to e-mail me [from a Yahoo!Mail address] a useless Sysadmin contract job after clearing all hurdles placed by me in front of him/her.

Here's what I replied to B.J.

Your persistence is admirable:
1. you noticed that your @deleted.com e-mail is rejected by my e-mail system;
2. you noticed that in the validation page I list your agency as one I have no wish to talk to;
3. you noticed that in the validation page I require to be contacted for Linux kernel/embedded jobs and yet you went thru the authorisation process even if I made it a hurdle.

I salute you for this but I won't change my mind about recruiters who send me useless jobs that DO NOT match my Resume.

Hint-hint: read Resumes once in a while instead of using Control-F in Word!!

-ulianov

---

1. no kidding, these are his/her initials!

A Recruiter Sounds Like a TV Infomercial

I got this e-mail today from M.S. from Andover, MA and here's what he has to say:

Subject: Ignore the Economy! We have a high demand for experienced Technical Professionals...NOW!

This could be the most important message you receive all year! Please read the entire message carefully.

Despite the doom and gloom you read in the media the demand for Highly skilled Technical Professionals including Software Engineers, QA and Systems Engineers and developers continues to remain high and is growing.

We are now in a situation where job candidates actually hold the upper hand. Salaries and benefits a growing everyday.

If you have been considering making a move in your career, either to a new level or simply widening your experience base and skill sets now is the time to start that process.

IMPORTANT : IMMEDIATE NEED FOR SOFTWARE ENGINEERS.
I have an immediate need for several Software Engineers from Junior level to Senior and Principal level with experience in backend systems design and development.

[...]

To view all of our open jobs see our website at www.deleted.com

If you are not a Software Engineer we have other positions available and we are updating our website on a daily basis.

Tell us what you are up to.
I am working on updating our candidate database here at Deleted, Inc. and I would like to re-connect with you, find out what your career goals might be and see if we can use our expertise and connections to help you find a more fulfilling job. Whether that means more money, more responsibility or a job at a specific company we can help you with that. Look at it this way. You have worked long and hard to gain the skills and knowledge you possess, and you are very good at what you do.

Let us show You the Money!
But, you are no expert in the business of finding jobs and filling jobs. That is our expertise and our business. It is all we do every day all day and we do it well. It is in our best interest to present you to employers in the best possible light and get you the best position possible with the best salary available. Think of us like an agent for a professional athlete or actor. Only in this case there is no expense to you. We can work our way into your employers of choice, we can negotiate higher salaries or more desirable benefit packages or we can get you higher consulting rates. Let us do the dirty work for you. Your name does not even need to come up until absolutely necessary.

No Risk To You!
All of our services are absolutely confidential. Our proprietary methods allow us to search the job market for you with no risk of discovery by your current employer. This is much safer and more effective than putting your confidential information out on the public job boards. The sad fact is that over 70% of all positions are not posted on the job boards and less than 29% of all positions filled are filled by candidates whose resume was posted on a job board.

I look forward to hearing from you. Finding out what you have been doing and where you want to go from here. I am excited at the prospect of helping you take your career to a new level.

This sounds like a cross between an acne treatment infomercial and one for get-rich-quick. B*rnard H*ldane is not far from this guy in style. Yuck. Oh, the "proprietary methods" BS means calling hiring managers at random.

-ulianov

What's a "Direct Client"?

I keep getting spams (via monster) from crappy agencies advertising "Urgent direct client requirement". These creeps must have gone to school together.

WTF is a "direct client"? Recruiter agencies generally don't work for other agencies, they try to find jobs for various companies. Ergo all of their clients are direct.

What's funny is that some bottom-feeding recruiters find candidates and then they pester hiring managers at random to interview/hire them [as related to me by a hiring manager]. So the clients some times don't even know that recruiters work on their behalf.

-ulianov

A Disorganised Recruiter

I was talking to this recruiter from TX and I wasted quite a lot of time on:
1. e-mail exchanges, followed by
2. a phone interview with the recruiter, followed by
3. more e-mail exchanges, followed by
4. a quiz sent on behalf of the hiring client, followed by
5. a phone call from a fax line (!!), followed by
6. more e-mail exchanges asking for a phone interview with the client.

This is a bit too much time spent interacting with a recruiter that cannot seem to make her mind about how to handle me. By this time I already forgot why I wanted to take the job in the 1st place.

-ulianov

Interview w/ a Startup in Cambridge, MA

Went yesterday to Cambridge to talk to people from this 10-year old startup. To my surprise they are literally next door to MIT. Very interesting: super-cool location, image must be paramount for them.

Nice people, a bit elitist as the subtext goes, interesting work to be done (f/t). Yet no special connection. While their premises were well-lit by daylight they put me in a dimly lit conference room. Not a mood enhancer.

I got a phone call today from their internal recruiter telling me that I did not click with anybody on the team and my personality did not match the team. Yep, just like dating as one recruiter put it. However I really do appreciate him giving me prompt and sincere feed-back.

What puzzles me about them is the length of time they've been around and they haven't been bought and they didn't IPO. Most startups end up somewhere after about five years.

-ulianov

An Ode to the Software Developer

A recruiter sent me this job in Tampa, FL.

The job descriptions would be OK if it were not so long. Looks like a poem or an ode and is even longer than Longfellow's Hiawatha!

-ulianov

Summary:  Researches, designs, tests, modifies and develops computer software systems and software programming applications, in conjunction with hardware product development, by performing the following duties.

Essential Duties and Responsibilities include the following.  Other duties may be assigned. 

·         Installs and maintains Linux (Debian) networked development environment on Intel based PCs and Arm based Gumstix products.

·         Configures and manages TCP/IP, USB and Bluetooth interface protocols.

·         Debugs and modifies Linux (Debian) drivers.

·         Maintains SVN source code control system.

·         Experienced in the use of Hardware test equipment and Software debugging tools.

·         Designs, develops, codes, debugs, tests, installs and maintains software.

·         Will be expected to write documentation to describe program development, logic, coding and corrections.

·         Consults with hardware engineers and other engineering staff to evaluate interface between hardware and software, and operational and performance requirements and to identify current operating procedures and to clarify program objectives of overall system.

·         Assist task leader/project manager in developing schedules and project plans. Keep task leader/project manager informed on progress against schedule.

Competency:

To perform the job successfully, an individual should demonstrate the following competencies:

Design

·         Generates creative solutions                                           

·         Translates concepts and information into images              

·         Applies design principles                                                 

·         Uses feedback to modify designs                                    

·         Demonstrates attention to detail

Innovation

·         Displays original thinking and creativity                            

·         Meets challenges with resourcefulness                            

·         Generates suggestions for improving work                       

·        Develops innovative approaches and ideas

Problem Solving

·         Identifies problems in a timely manner                             

·         Gathers and analyzes information skillfully                       

·         Develops alternative solutions                                         

·         Resolves problems in early stages                                   

·         Works well in group problem solving situations

Quality

·         Demonstrates accuracy and thoroughness                       

·         Displays commitment to excellence                                 

·         Looks for ways to improve and promote quality               

·         Applies feedback to improve performance                       

·        Monitors own work to ensure quality

Teamwork

·         Balances team and individual responsibilities                    

·         Exhibits objectivity and openness to others' views             

·         Gives and welcomes feedback                                        

·         Contributes to building a positive team spirit                     

·         Puts success of team above own interests

Job Knowledge

·          Competent in required job skills and knowledge

·          Exhibits ability to learn and apply new skills

·          Keeps abreast of current developments

·          Requires minimal supervision

·         Displays understanding of how job relates to others

·         Uses resources effectively

Judgment  

·         Displays willingness to make decisions;

·         Exhibits sound and accurate judgment;

·         Supports and explains reasoning for decisions;

·         Includes appropriate people in decision-making process;

·         Makes timely decisions.

Safety and Security

·         Observes safety and security procedures;

·         Determines appropriate action beyond guidelines

·         Uses equipment and materials properly

·        Reports potentially unsafe conditions

Qualifications:

To perform this job successfully, an individual must be able to perform the essential duties satisfactorily. The requirements listed below are representative of the knowledge, skill, and/or ability required. Reasonable accommodations may be made to enable individuals with disabilities to perform the essential functions.

Education:

Bachelor's degree (B. S.) in Computer Science, Computer Engineering, Electrical Engineering or Mathematics from four-year college or university; with five plus years related experience and/or training; or equivalent combination of education and experience.

Language Ability:

Ability to read, analyze, and interpret general business periodicals, professional journals, technical procedures, or governmental regulations.  Ability to write reports, business correspondence, and procedure manuals.  Ability to effectively present information and respond to questions from groups of managers, clients, customers, and the general public.

Math Ability:

Ability to work with mathematical concepts such as probability and statistical inference, and fundamentals of plane and solid geometry and trigonometry. Ability to apply concepts such as fractions, percentages, ratios, and proportions to practical situations.

Reasoning Ability:

Ability to define problems, collect data, establish facts, and draw valid conclusions. Ability to interpret an extensive variety of technical instructions in mathematical or diagram form and deal with several abstract and concrete variables.

Computer Skills:

To perform this job successfully, an individual should have knowledge of Spreadsheet software; Development software; Design software and Project Management software.  Proficient in object oriented software development on gumstix processor under Debian/GNU Linux, and Visual C++. Knowledge of client server applications and ability to write code to manipulate custom hardware is desired. Control of remote instrumentation using PC or PC based platform under Windows is desired. Experience with nuclear, biological or chemical detection systems and knowledge of DSP of video signals a plus.

Work Environment:

The work environment characteristics described here are representative of those an employee encounters while performing the essential functions of this job. Reasonable accommodations may be made to enable individuals with disabilities to perform the essential functions.  The noise level in the work environment is usually moderate.

Physical Demands:

The physical demands described here are representative of those that must be met by an employee to successfully perform the essential functions of this job. Reasonable accommodations may be made to enable individuals with disabilities to perform the essential functions.  While performing the duties of this job, the employee is frequently required to sit and use hands to finger, handle, or feel. The employee is occasionally required to stand; walk and talk or hear. The employee must occasionally lift and/or move up to 25 pounds.  Specific vision abilities required by this job include Close vision, Distance vision, Depth perception and Ability to adjust focus.

A Recruiter's Mini Job-Board or How to Be Annoying

Got a call from a bossy she-recruiter who was hunting for Java skills. She was extremely annoying as she kept asking [and not listening to my answers] what I am doing at the current job (nothing Java) and at the previous job (lots of stuff but very little Java).

Then she urged me to go to her two-bit website and upload my Resume there. I find that quite a few such creeps want me to do that.

Now I know recruiters keep Word Resumes filed in various folders and search them using Windows Explorer's search function for certain keywords. Such is life and this is a trick of their trade.

But the creeps want you to create and account with their sh*tty website, fill umpteenth broken Web forms and then wait for their call. My experience tells me my return from such endeavours is null.

-ulianov

Interview w/ C**tiza

I got a call from a recruiter about this job at C**tiza which is a startup in "stealth mode". The job seemed like a fit so I agreed to a phone interview. The hiring manager ended up not calling. Hmm.

Then C**tiza started pushing me to go there for an in-person interview ASAP, now! tomorrow!, skipping the phone step. Normally I need the phone talk so I know what to expect and evaluate whether is worth me going to meet them.

As the company was only 5-minute driving from work I agreed to go there.

Met four guys, engineers, nice people. They were extremely interested in my raw troubleshooting skills. The were extremely secretive about what they are doing at C**tiza. Hmm. Weird and sickening.

The hiring manager stiffed me again as he has in a meeting with some VCs. So I wasted 2.5h and did get to not meet the guy. Their idea was that I should come back at a later date, waste more time and meet the guy.

To make matters worse during the interview a flash flood-type of rain started and soaked my car [inside too as I had my windows open... it was a hot day!] and prevented me from getting to it for a while.

Jul 8 update: I heard back from the recruiter: my skills were good but C**tiza was looking for a 3G/4G guy. Same happened to another candidate. And the job description did not have that. Kind of a crappy place if you ask me.

-ulianov

A Dumbass Recruiter Calls

I got a pushy call then and e-mail from D.S. of NJ. (It looks that NJ is a magnet of sorts for dumbass recruiters.)

He kept droning on and on in a broken English about a "Sr. Position in Andover, MA", was not providing technical details and he was asking how soon (ASAP!) I can send him my resume.

Then he e-mailed and showed his true colours. Here are some excerpts that I find particularly insulting:

Question 3: Are you willing to work in the Andover, MA?
If not local to Andover, MA are you willing to relocate/find temporary residence at your own expense?
If not local to Andover, MA are you willing to attend an "in-person" interview at your own expense if required by the client?
Question 5: What is your most competitive Salary? Are you willing to negotiate?
Current Base Salary
Desired Base Salary
Question 6: Do you have any current offers under considerations? (If yes, please include timeframe and details.)

So this moron wants people to come and talk to his client at their own expense and relocate likewise. Plus he wants do down-negotiate a candidate as hard as he can.

Question #6 is downright idiotic as even if I had something in the pipeline I would not tell him.

-ulianov

A Company Really Responds to a Job Ad

Well I replied to their job ad on Dice and lo and behold I got a ring from them one hour later! So this does happen sometimes. (I am used to applying for jobs with various companies and never ever ever hearing back from them.)

-ulianov

The Trouble with Global Agencies

Well, a "global" or a "nation-wide" agency (e.g. Oxford) is bound to have multiple offices in various places.

The people who staff these outlets don't seem to communicate with each other and one can get multiple calls from recruiters working for the same agency. (See my other postings.)

Another problem is that these people are more superficial than the ones from the small/local agencies. The former, being low-life scum, only pick up the e-mail address and telephone numbers from Resumes and call people at random. They don't even read BIG RED NOTICES ON TOP "do not call unless pay is X".

I don't even bother to tell them to sod off any more.

-ulianov

Recruiters and Relocation

I was talking to my recruiter genie and complaining that I get calls for LAMP jobs in CO for 55 to 60k in spite of big bold red notes I put in my resume about the pay level and that I am not considering going to Colorado, and here is what she had to say:

Recruiting firms teach recruiters that that stuff doesn't matter, and neither does people saying they will not relocate. The recruiter is supposed to convince them to. It's stupid.

-ulianov

Interview w/ A Three-Letter Company (Not Blue Tho)

Went to Southboro to meet these guys. I landed this interview via a call from one of their HR guys.

They were very nice and asked a lot of questions about prototyping & code debugging. Very interesting opportunity: they do advance technology scouting for other groups in the company.

It was one of the nicest interviews I've had in a long time.

Jul 7 update: I did not get the job, the feed-back (HR were nice and gave me some) was:

[...] the leading candidate is internal, so by default, has somewhat of an edge (knows the product well, the company, etc.). Trust me when I tell you that you did extremely well on the interview. They are a tough group to impress and you did that.

Bummer. No matter how well I perform it still does not stick.

-ulianov

Corporate Recruiters vs. Agency/Freelance Recruiters

It just dawned on me that there are two categories of recruiters:
1. agency/freelance ones who bombard companies with requests for positions and then go find candidates;
2. the corporate ones who are part of the HR.

In general one can discuss money and other things with the former (you may recall that I blogged about one who was holier than thou about this).

The latter ones are a bit less useful as they prefer to hide behind the finger and decline all talks about $$$ referring me to the offer phase if any.

This is a unadulterated waste of time on my side as generally I have to waste half a day to two days to get to their premises and charm the snakes only to find out in the end that the pay is pitiful.

Yet recently I stumbled on one of the latter kind who said that he took notice of the line in my Resume warning about no calls under 120k and that altho he cannot go into details the sum is the pay level at his three-letter company.

-ulianov

Interview w/ V**eoIQ in Bedford, MA

Drove half hour to Bedford on some winding roads (did not want to take route on Hwys 2->495->3) and got to meet the folks of V**eoIQ.

They are nice and relaxed but a bit unfocused: they use C, Java and .Net in their software stack and that biases their hiring needs.

I applied for a platform job (C/Linux/drivers/troubleshooting) yet they wished for somebody that was good at C++ too. I am not. While I think there may be people out there with this background I do not suppose there are many of them, as C++/UML is a craft on its own.

Predictably I did not get the job (well I told them upfront I am no C++ fan). While the hiring manager who talked to me over the phone seemed OK with that [that's why I went there to meet them in person], the VP of Eng. was not thus I wasted four hours on the road+interview out of my work day.

Altho unrelated to the V**eoIQ, the building that housed them was reeking of a rancid smell. It made me quite sick to my stomach and quite unenthusiastic. I suppose it came from the pool supply company next door.

-ulianov

Why I Left a Previous Job

Well, I spent 3 1/4 years in that place and I saw it in the beginning as a fun-to-work-at startup, then being purchased by a giant company and witnessed it getting process-ified into a rigid organisation.

Mind you I was all for processes but my interest was only to improve code quality [as I was at the receiving end of super-nasty bugs in code I never wrote].

The new management process-ified things blindly left and right, imposed quality checks but the quality processes were followed only formally, i.e. not in their spirit.

There were only two good outcomes out of that:
1. checked in code did not break the build any more and
2. super-bugs were not usually found one day before GA [sometimes they were found and relegated on purpose to "point-one" releases].

Other than that all we got was stacks of red tape and endless useless forms to fill. The time-tracking system was a VisualBasic webapp that was just gross.

IEEE has a very interesting article on this and here is a relevant portion:

The process-imposter organization bases its practices on a slavish devotion to process for process’s sake. These organizations look at process-oriented organizations such as NASA’s Software Engineering Laboratory and IBM’s former Federal Systems Division. They observe that those organizations generate lots of documents and hold frequent meetings. They conclude that if they generate an equivalent number of documents and hold a comparable number of meetings they will be similarly successful. If they generate more documentation and hold more meetings, they will be even more successful! But they don’t understand that the documentation and the meetings are not responsible for the success; they are the side effects of a few specific effective processes. We call these organizations bureaucratic because they put the form of software processes above the substance. Their misuse of process is demotivating, which hurts productivity. And they’re not very enjoyable to work for.

Mind you I felt like the last two sentences.

Also the fact that during all my time there I had to pick up after a few people that exhibited the cargo cult programming syndrome did not help either.

-ulianov

Another Oxford Drone Calls

I got another call today from an Oxford recruiter. Made a mistake and did not tell her to sod off from the get-go.

She did not have a job at hand, she did not like I am not available for work yesterday and she insisted that I come to downtown Boston to meet with her on Monday.

This may be OK on Planet Oxford but as I was trying to explain to her:
1. it would take me at least 1 1/2 hour to go to/from the burbs to Boston just to meet her;
2. my contract is still running so I would rather work and make money than go downtown and waste about three hours in the process;
3. I have other quasi-firm things lined up in the pipeline that do not require me to go and waste time on a face-to-face with a recruiter [other recruiters don't require that!].

So the was either old-school [I've met this sort of recruiter before] or she was just plain stupid. You decide.

-ulianov

P.S. Talked to a fellow contractor, he said Oxford tried to apply the same BS to him.

Funny Job Ad on Dice

A recruiter might have torn a page from my book: he writes on Dice [bold typeface in original ad]:

To submit your resume for this position, you must include BOTH your desired annual salary and current annual salary broken down between base + bonus! NO EXCEPTIONS!

Further on he specifies:

Major Pluses to have: [...] Current or previous employment at Avid, Sea Change (in New Hampshire), Broadbus, or similar companies.

This guy is fishing [I work for one of these companies].

-ulianov

Law of Unintended Consequences

A.P. quotes my blog in a blog comment and says:

From a candidate perspective, we are viewed more
and more as a necessary evil (see [link to my
blog] for an example of this) while from a 
client perspective - especially since the
introduction of the internet and job boards
such as monster.com, we are viewed as paper
pushers (resumes) and shotgun hunters (throw 
it against the wall and see if it sticks).

IMO he is one of the few recruiters that has achieved a high level of sentient-ness and he understands his station in life.

I looked at my visitation logs and I've seen him a few times. Now I can put a name on an IPv4 address ;) He has his own website & blog and seems to care about us grunts who use his services.

Re: necessary evil recruiters are a step forward from using newspapers and newsgroups (van.jobs, etc) to hunt for jobs. Some small companies who know better [or are cheap] don't use jobs boards and recruiters, they will post on local newsgroups, but that's a secret.

I did not intend this blog as a tool or mirror for recruiters but based on usage patterns seems to be just that. Maybe I should install an anti-recruiter filter that upon detection replaces the blog content with

Eenie Minnie Minie Moe / No job here off you go!

and turns his computer into Stilton cheese ;)

-ulianov

A Recruiter That is Worse Than a Spammer

I don't know what to make of this e-mail, it has it all:
0. badly formatted Subject, weird opening line;
1. LAMP job, crappy pay;
2. recruiter did not read my Resume;
3. dizzying broken English: what is a rek? what is an "all inclusive rate"? [are we in the hospitality industry?] does one habitually get comfortable with job offers? and what is a modify resume?
4. even manages to be insulting: "you are comfortable with the rate or not" and he calls me a Partner (never spoke to this low-life).

All in the span of three short paragraphs. He's either a pro at being insulting or extremely stupid. Even spammers don't irk me that much.

-ulianov

Subject: DIRECT CLIENT REK::::"Perl/PHP Web Developer
         with XXXX, Durham, NC"............please
         respond immediately

Hi Partner,

Hope you are doing great. I have one more urgent
rek on “PERL/PHP WEB DEVELOPER with XXXX
in Durham, NC”.

If you feel comfortable with the rek please get
back to me with your modify resume as per client
rek.

And please let me know whether you are comfortable
with the rate or not.

Title    : Perl/PHP Web Developer with Cisco experience 
Location : Durham, NC
Duration : 24 months
RATE     : $45/HR of all inclusive

Feed-Back from Interviews

Many a bad recruiter call you, send you to an interview and then nada for weeks.

The good ones recognize the problem and recommend their brethren to always follow up. I am glad some of them see my point.

For me the feed-back either positive or negative is invaluable as it reflects the way other people see me professionally so next time I should not have to make the same mistake.

-ulianov

Another Surreal Encounter with a Recruiter

I got a call from a withheld number today. The person at the other end was handling the phone [I could hear it], did not speak and in the background there was a weird tape playing and talking rubbish like

You are a good reader. You have an ego. Never Give Up.

As I use this phone number only for recruiters I can say that yes, they use motivational tapes. Maybe they have a low-low self esteem? ;)

-ulianov

Sshh! Recruiters Comunicate Among Themselves

It turns out that recruiters have their own haunts (http://www.recruitingblogs.com/) for blogging and asking questions.

This one by my acquaintance C.F. discusses why candidates refuse to even hear about jobs at some companies.

I had to say NO! on my own recently: a recruiter asked whether he can submit me to a company in MA that has been purchased by a large Chinese corporation.

I have had such an experience with a company like this in Vancouver, BC and I find that:
1. they are very rigid;
2. nothing percolates up the ladder;
3. new ideas/improvements are not welcome;
4. overseas Chinese management is very stubborn;
5. they are very cheap, even stingy when it comes to salaries and benefits.
In the end I left for a better offer out of sheer boredom and the fact that another company were offering me 30% more (the new offer was industry average). Funny but the Chinese company offered to match the offer on the spot.

In short my opinion is that they want drones to do their bidding.

-ulianov

What Makes a Gōōd Résūmé?

I've heard many opinions from recruiters and employers about my Resume:
1. Recruiters want as many details as possible so they can search keywords and can present relevant experience;
2. Employers/technical types want the same as recruiters as they can understand a candidate's background and serves as material to sound the candidate's experience and skills in certain areas in the interview(s);
3. Employers/suit or MBA types want two-page Resumes that gives them a rough idea of what you can do.

It is up to you to to find a balance. I find that keeping a short and a full version helps.

A good Resume must have on the first page:
0. your NAME;
1. your contact information;
2. [for a Jr. person: education and GPA];
3. a short list of your previous jobs;
4. a list of your skills and how many years you spent using them;
5. title and duration at the most recent job and some details;

Past positions must be presented newer-first.

Never include information like SSN (US), SIN (Canada), age, marital status, ethnicity. They are not allowed to ask for that and there is no need-to-know.

-ulianov

Mar 2 update: I deleted the old post and re-posted as there are too many irrelevant hits from Google on the title. I also mangled the title to use some Unicode transliteration to cut down on these hits.

Sometimes the Recruiter Does Know Better

R.F. of Newburyport, MA (who's among the few good ones in Mass) sent me to a pre-screening interview with a company in Boxboro, MA.

He gave me a "cheat sheet" with things that the hiring manager is known to ask and advised me to read & follow it.

Indeed the hiring manager did just that but I kinda blew it as did not follow the script -- I answered the question with a twist. As to other topics I was asked I gave the answers with practical/historical examples of why and how. Maybe I was a bit didactical.

He didn't quite like that and turned me down. The feed-back was that he did not like the way I communicated. In my defense I must say that I was tired (I always sleep badly before an interview) so maybe I missed a few cues verbal or not when interacting with the guy.

Moral is if you know the recruiter is good and he/she gives you good advice about a certain employer then you'd better follow it.

Jul 7 update: It appears that C**ssbeam is still advertising the job till this day. The hiring manager was complaining about not finding people skilled enough (he was looking for somebody who could maintain their own kernel patches, port them forward to new releases and possibly pushing them into mainline Linux).

On the other hand I suspect based on his need for scripted interaction and inflexibility in interacting with me that he has his own problems in dealing with (new) people.

In hindsight the moral is this: if I were desperate to get the job I should have sang to his tune and jumped as high as he told me to. On the other hand this interaction pattern would have extended into my employment there and I am anything but a yesman.

-ulianov

Two ASAP! Calls for Rhode Island

Some company that makes gaming machines is hiring in RI and this ripples into some recruiters' psyche.

Yesterday I got two phone calls from two different nincompoops who fished my Resume on monster. They did not pay attention to my location preferences. Bummer.

It's got so bad that I had to slap "NO CALLS FOR OREGON" on the top of my Resume. (Yes! In red!) Maybe I should do the same for RI.

My black list of crappy agencies has now ten entries and it's growing by the day. At this rate I shall see myself morph into a CreditRecruiter Bureau.

(BTW: I call the Credit Bureaus the Gestapo for they collect my personals and they sell it to dubious credit card companies.)

-ulianov

Some Recruiters are Worse Than Telemarketers

Some recruiters (especially from outsourcing agencies) call on the phone and following their script they say "I am X from [agency] Y and I have an opportunity. I have a few questions for you".

If you interrupt them and say "Where?" or "What's the pay rate?" they get confused and you have to repeat the question. Their poor command of English and crappy VoIP telephone lines don't help either.

So you end up wasting five minutes on the phone trying to extract relevant information from the drone to find out in the end that they want you to move to Silicon Valley and be paid at 60% of market value. Some even try to bargain with you. Yuck.

Five minutes don't seem like a lot of time but if you get this three or four times a day it adds up to a lot of irritation.

Now, telemarketers are in my opinion a lesser evil because one can use donotcall.gov, utter to them the magic words "Put this number on your do not call list" or simply not answer a call with a withheld number.

One does not have these options with this kind of recruiters. One can tell them not to call but they don't have a master list so you can get a call from another drone of the same agency the next day.

-ulianov

Resume Writer Reads my Blog

A gang of resume writers disagree with my take on Cover Letters and mistake me for a career expert (hey! I'm just a grunt who's looking for a job, but I've done that quite successfully for 10 years).

They have a self-serving theory (and BS IMNSHO):

Letter-writing may not be relevant to all jobs,
but willingness to go the extra mile and attention
to detail are. The presence of a cover letter helps
prove you possess those qualities; the absence
implies you don't.

Step back one second and think: they are Resume writers. A Cover Letter is part of their livelihood -- if someone says it's not required that's one less revenue stream for them as the theory goes that these letters must be custom tailored to each employer.

BTW: I had an interview this morning and the hiring manager said that he had to go thru a stack of 50-60 Resumes and he only looked at the 1st page for 10 seconds max. How many seconds did he devote to Cover Letters? I guess none. So hiring managers don't care about these letters. Good.

And speaking of attention to detail... my Resume is so long (9 pages) and so detailed that one cannot allege that I don't have this skill. Yes, they imply that there is the "human detail" but IMO recruiters are to be dealt with in bulk unless they are really good.

It is easy to offer "professional" opinions but finding a good job and dealing with recruiters is not.

-ulianov

P.S. As always my opinions and experience pertain only to the IT field.

A Recruiter's Predatory Tactic

Something that irritates me up the wall is when a recruiter calls into the company PBX and then connects to my extension by randomly looking up my name, e.g. spells blindly "2582" [not my actual extension].

Then he/she asks "May I speak to X Y [my name]?" and starts BS-ing me.

This makes me postpone setting up my voicemail until my manager reads me the riot act which is usually three months.

But this is pointless of him/her as I have always been a grunt, never had a customer-facing job (except once at an ISP) and family, friends and recruiters call me on my cell phone.

Jun 13 update: In a moment of sincerity a senior manager once told me that when he wants to get rid of a undesirable f/t subordinate he doesn't fire him (as this can be costly in Canada) but he calls up a recruiter buddy and tells the recruiter to lure the undesirable away on another job thus making him leave on his own steam.

That's another reason why I never take recruiters' calls at work.

-ulianov

P.S. I never give out my work phone number except for work-related reasons. Cell phones are good as an excuse ("my battery was dead") and can be ignored at will.

Most Job-Hunting Books Are Useless

Everything these books say is true and is somewhat useful but they are bollocks.

(The way they suggest to look for companies by going to the Public Library is useless.)

They are at good at the beginning of one's career or if one has been on a job for longer that he/she can remember.

What these treatises don't tell you is that the main factors in being successful at finding the job are:
1. state of the economy, especially the IT side: [think post-bubble, the years 2001-2003];
2. location: I am in IT so Vancouver, BC is not really a haven teeming with hight tech companies;
3. your skill set (this will only set your foot in the door): having done lots of stuff makes one highly desirable in most situations; if one stayed in one company and doing the same stuff for a decade that is not a good indicator of flexibility and competency [may be wrong here but I've seen this kind of people];
4. if at the interview the people like you; this is extremely important and you will know immediately as you will feel whether you like them [be honest with yourself!].

One can lie on the Resume, can lie to the Recruiter, (should not) lie at the interview but one cannot make people like him/her. Some people have this natural talent but I (like most IT people) don't.

-ulianov

Re: Is the Cover Letter Dead?

C.F. asks in her blog: Is the Cover Letter Dead?

As far as I can tell from my 10 years of experience of job hunting across 3 countries and 2 continents cover letters are history.

In the good old days of the glossy-paper Resume they might have had an effect.

Nowadays the cover letter has been replaced by a line or two I send when I respond to a recruiter's solicitation. Besides it is rare that companies advertise jobs on job boards by themselves so writing a "love letter" to a recruiter that will want to grill you over the phone anyhow is pointless.

Cover letters might have worked with cold calls but a) I am not good at it and b) they are tossed in the trash anyway.

-ulianov