I recently came across your online resume and after reviewing your qualifications, I feel you would be a great fit for an application developer opportunity we have available. Please feel free to contact me at your earliest convenience and we can discuss this opportunity in further detail.Three cheers to this: no location, pay rate or even job description. A conversation opener as they call it. I hate when they send me such useless e-mails.
I hope this email finds you well. My name is Z.L. and I am a Technical Recruiter for Deleted’s engineering team based in Newton, Massachusetts. I saw your skills and experience on Dice.com and wanted to reach out to you to see if you would ever consider a web developer position with Deleted. The position entails working with Javascript and PERL. We have a number of exciting projects going on in our Ottawa branch and your skills match up really well with the caliber of candidates we are looking for right now. If you are interested in learning more please don’t hesitate to contact me.The only thing he got right is my love of Perl but he did not catch my dislike for LAMP jobs, be them Perl or PHP. What's worse he did not read one line of my Resume.
I found your resume on the internet. After reviewing your skill set I thought you may be interested in our upcoming recruiting event. Please review the description below and let me know if you would be interested.There are a few things that annoy me: he sent me the e-mail from an address that is not @micr0soft.com (which is already blocked in my e-mail server) and he's fibbing: the e-mail address he used is one that I planted only on monster and dice so he did not pick it off the Internet.
Have you imagined yourself working for one of the largest software development companies in the nation, and working on cutting edge technology?
....
Thank You and I hope to see you in Redmond.
I hope this finds you well. My name is C.B. and I am a Technical Recruiter with the Deleted Group in Raleigh Durham, NC. I wanted to contact you, not for the initial intent of asking to be in your network, but because your resume is impressive and reflects a lot of what we are looking for in an Embedded Software Developer. We actually have a direct hire embedded position with a GREAT company that is new to the Raleigh area. I have the job description but they are too long to include in this memo. Is there an available email address I could send them to? Thanks, I appreciate all your help. Thanks in advance, C.B.Mind you, the lack of line breaks and the churning of words (not unlike James Joyces' stream of consciousness) belong to her.
The ideal candidate will be someone who only has a couple of years exp. a real go-getter, they DO NOT want to see candidates with more than 4-5 years of exp. they would like to mold this person and looking for candidates who are interested in growing with the Company into a Director level at some point. Must be very FLEXIBLE. Needs a “trainable” type person. Culture is Jeans & T-Shirts, no sandals or shorts. Interviews will be conducted of a panel of managers & leads in the group.The requirements are on the hacker side (e.g. SoftICE, 2+ years of MS-Wind0ws drivers), yet they are exquisitely, bitterly cheap for California.
The position will pay a base salary between $80-100K and this is based on salary history. We offer a base salary, bonus (not eligible this year), Stock options and matching 401K. Local candidates are preferred but a great candidate with all the intangibles would be worth taking a look at from out of state. They do an EXTENSIVE criminal background check.
Urgent: Read Carefully - Immediate need for experienced blah-blah Software EngineersSo this creep is looking actually for ASP/C#/.NET and ActiveBatch. Of course he did not pass my e-mail validation with such idiotic requirements.
Your persistence is admirable:-ulianov
1. you noticed that your @deleted.com e-mail is rejected by my e-mail system;
2. you noticed that in the validation page I list your agency as one I have no wish to talk to;
3. you noticed that in the validation page I require to be contacted for Linux kernel/embedded jobs and yet you went thru the authorisation process even if I made it a hurdle.
I salute you for this but I won't change my mind about recruiters who send me useless jobs that DO NOT match my Resume.
Hint-hint: read Resumes once in a while instead of using Control-F in Word!!
Subject: Ignore the Economy! We have a high demand for experienced Technical Professionals...NOW!
This could be the most important message you receive all year! Please read the entire message carefully.
Despite the doom and gloom you read in the media the demand for Highly skilled Technical Professionals including Software Engineers, QA and Systems Engineers and developers continues to remain high and is growing.
We are now in a situation where job candidates actually hold the upper hand. Salaries and benefits a growing everyday.
If you have been considering making a move in your career, either to a new level or simply widening your experience base and skill sets now is the time to start that process.
IMPORTANT : IMMEDIATE NEED FOR SOFTWARE ENGINEERS.
I have an immediate need for several Software Engineers from Junior level to Senior and Principal level with experience in backend systems design and development.
[...]
To view all of our open jobs see our website at www.deleted.com
If you are not a Software Engineer we have other positions available and we are updating our website on a daily basis.
Tell us what you are up to.
I am working on updating our candidate database here at Deleted, Inc. and I would like to re-connect with you, find out what your career goals might be and see if we can use our expertise and connections to help you find a more fulfilling job. Whether that means more money, more responsibility or a job at a specific company we can help you with that. Look at it this way. You have worked long and hard to gain the skills and knowledge you possess, and you are very good at what you do.
Let us show You the Money!
But, you are no expert in the business of finding jobs and filling jobs. That is our expertise and our business. It is all we do every day all day and we do it well. It is in our best interest to present you to employers in the best possible light and get you the best position possible with the best salary available. Think of us like an agent for a professional athlete or actor. Only in this case there is no expense to you. We can work our way into your employers of choice, we can negotiate higher salaries or more desirable benefit packages or we can get you higher consulting rates. Let us do the dirty work for you. Your name does not even need to come up until absolutely necessary.
No Risk To You!
All of our services are absolutely confidential. Our proprietary methods allow us to search the job market for you with no risk of discovery by your current employer. This is much safer and more effective than putting your confidential information out on the public job boards. The sad fact is that over 70% of all positions are not posted on the job boards and less than 29% of all positions filled are filled by candidates whose resume was posted on a job board.
I look forward to hearing from you. Finding out what you have been doing and where you want to go from here. I am excited at the prospect of helping you take your career to a new level.
Summary: Researches, designs, tests, modifies and develops computer software systems and software programming applications, in conjunction with hardware product development, by performing the following duties.
Essential Duties and Responsibilities include the following. Other duties may be assigned.
· Installs and maintains Linux (Debian) networked development environment on Intel based PCs and Arm based Gumstix products.
· Configures and manages TCP/IP, USB and Bluetooth interface protocols.
· Debugs and modifies Linux (Debian) drivers.
· Maintains SVN source code control system.
· Experienced in the use of Hardware test equipment and Software debugging tools.
· Designs, develops, codes, debugs, tests, installs and maintains software.
· Will be expected to write documentation to describe program development, logic, coding and corrections.
· Consults with hardware engineers and other engineering staff to evaluate interface between hardware and software, and operational and performance requirements and to identify current operating procedures and to clarify program objectives of overall system.
· Assist task leader/project manager in developing schedules and project plans. Keep task leader/project manager informed on progress against schedule.
Competency:
To perform the job successfully, an individual should demonstrate the following competencies:
Design
· Generates creative solutions
· Translates concepts and information into images
· Applies design principles
· Uses feedback to modify designs
· Demonstrates attention to detail
Innovation
· Displays original thinking and creativity
· Meets challenges with resourcefulness
· Generates suggestions for improving work
· Develops innovative approaches and ideas
Problem Solving
· Identifies problems in a timely manner
· Gathers and analyzes information skillfully
· Develops alternative solutions
· Resolves problems in early stages
· Works well in group problem solving situations
Quality
· Demonstrates accuracy and thoroughness
· Displays commitment to excellence
· Looks for ways to improve and promote quality
· Applies feedback to improve performance
· Monitors own work to ensure quality
Teamwork
· Balances team and individual responsibilities
· Exhibits objectivity and openness to others' views
· Gives and welcomes feedback
· Contributes to building a positive team spirit
· Puts success of team above own interests
Job Knowledge
· Competent in required job skills and knowledge
· Exhibits ability to learn and apply new skills
· Keeps abreast of current developments
· Requires minimal supervision
· Displays understanding of how job relates to others
· Uses resources effectively
Judgment
· Displays willingness to make decisions;
· Exhibits sound and accurate judgment;
· Supports and explains reasoning for decisions;
· Includes appropriate people in decision-making process;
· Makes timely decisions.
Safety and Security
· Observes safety and security procedures;
· Determines appropriate action beyond guidelines
· Uses equipment and materials properly
· Reports potentially unsafe conditions
Qualifications:
To perform this job successfully, an individual must be able to perform the essential duties satisfactorily. The requirements listed below are representative of the knowledge, skill, and/or ability required. Reasonable accommodations may be made to enable individuals with disabilities to perform the essential functions.
Education:
Bachelor's degree (B. S.) in Computer Science, Computer Engineering, Electrical Engineering or Mathematics from four-year college or university; with five plus years related experience and/or training; or equivalent combination of education and experience.
Language Ability:
Ability to read, analyze, and interpret general business periodicals, professional journals, technical procedures, or governmental regulations. Ability to write reports, business correspondence, and procedure manuals. Ability to effectively present information and respond to questions from groups of managers, clients, customers, and the general public.
Math Ability:
Ability to work with mathematical concepts such as probability and statistical inference, and fundamentals of plane and solid geometry and trigonometry. Ability to apply concepts such as fractions, percentages, ratios, and proportions to practical situations.
Reasoning Ability:
Ability to define problems, collect data, establish facts, and draw valid conclusions. Ability to interpret an extensive variety of technical instructions in mathematical or diagram form and deal with several abstract and concrete variables.
Computer Skills:
To perform this job successfully, an individual should have knowledge of Spreadsheet software; Development software; Design software and Project Management software. Proficient in object oriented software development on gumstix processor under Debian/GNU Linux, and Visual C++. Knowledge of client server applications and ability to write code to manipulate custom hardware is desired. Control of remote instrumentation using PC or PC based platform under Windows is desired. Experience with nuclear, biological or chemical detection systems and knowledge of DSP of video signals a plus.
Work Environment:
The work environment characteristics described here are representative of those an employee encounters while performing the essential functions of this job. Reasonable accommodations may be made to enable individuals with disabilities to perform the essential functions. The noise level in the work environment is usually moderate.
Physical Demands:
The physical demands described here are representative of those that must be met by an employee to successfully perform the essential functions of this job. Reasonable accommodations may be made to enable individuals with disabilities to perform the essential functions. While performing the duties of this job, the employee is frequently required to sit and use hands to finger, handle, or feel. The employee is occasionally required to stand; walk and talk or hear. The employee must occasionally lift and/or move up to 25 pounds. Specific vision abilities required by this job include Close vision, Distance vision, Depth perception and Ability to adjust focus.
Question 3: Are you willing to work in the Andover, MA?So this moron wants people to come and talk to his client at their own expense and relocate likewise. Plus he wants do down-negotiate a candidate as hard as he can.
If not local to Andover, MA are you willing to relocate/find temporary residence at your own expense?
If not local to Andover, MA are you willing to attend an "in-person" interview at your own expense if required by the client?
Question 5: What is your most competitive Salary? Are you willing to negotiate?
Current Base Salary
Desired Base Salary
Question 6: Do you have any current offers under considerations? (If yes, please include timeframe and details.)
Recruiting firms teach recruiters that that stuff doesn't matter, and neither does people saying they will not relocate. The recruiter is supposed to convince them to. It's stupid.-ulianov
[...] the leading candidate is internal, so by default, has somewhat of an edge (knows the product well, the company, etc.). Trust me when I tell you that you did extremely well on the interview. They are a tough group to impress and you did that.Bummer. No matter how well I perform it still does not stick.
The process-imposter organization bases its practices on a slavish devotion to process for process’s sake. These organizations look at process-oriented organizations such as NASA’s Software Engineering Laboratory and IBM’s former Federal Systems Division. They observe that those organizations generate lots of documents and hold frequent meetings. They conclude that if they generate an equivalent number of documents and hold a comparable number of meetings they will be similarly successful. If they generate more documentation and hold more meetings, they will be even more successful! But they don’t understand that the documentation and the meetings are not responsible for the success; they are the side effects of a few specific effective processes. We call these organizations bureaucratic because they put the form of software processes above the substance. Their misuse of process is demotivating, which hurts productivity. And they’re not very enjoyable to work for.Mind you I felt like the last two sentences.
To submit your resume for this position, you must include BOTH your desired annual salary and current annual salary broken down between base + bonus! NO EXCEPTIONS!Further on he specifies:
Major Pluses to have: [...] Current or previous employment at Avid, Sea Change (in New Hampshire), Broadbus, or similar companies.This guy is fishing [I work for one of these companies].
IMO he is one of the few recruiters that has achieved a high level of sentient-ness and he understands his station in life.
From a candidate perspective, we are viewed more
and more as a necessary evil (see [link to my
blog] for an example of this) while from a
client perspective - especially since the
introduction of the internet and job boards
such as monster.com, we are viewed as paper
pushers (resumes) and shotgun hunters (throw
it against the wall and see if it sticks).
Eenie Minnie Minie Moe / No job here off you go!and turns his computer into Stilton cheese ;)
Subject: DIRECT CLIENT REK::::"Perl/PHP Web Developer
with XXXX, Durham, NC"............please
respond immediately
Hi Partner,
Hope you are doing great. I have one more urgent
rek on “PERL/PHP WEB DEVELOPER with XXXX
in Durham, NC”.
If you feel comfortable with the rek please get
back to me with your modify resume as per client
rek.
And please let me know whether you are comfortable
with the rate or not.
Title : Perl/PHP Web Developer with Cisco experience
Location : Durham, NC
Duration : 24 months
RATE : $45/HR of all inclusive
You are a good reader. You have an ego. Never Give Up.As I use this phone number only for recruiters I can say that yes, they use motivational tapes. Maybe they have a low-low self esteem? ;)
Letter-writing may not be relevant to all jobs,
but willingness to go the extra mile and attention
to detail are. The presence of a cover letter helps
prove you possess those qualities; the absence
implies you don't.
It's not recruiters people hate... The job function of a
recruiter is essential.
There are just so many people that should have never gotten
into the staffing industry in any way that end up bouncing
around to different recruiting firms for a few months each
before being let go.
And they are the ones that do the THINGS that make people
think they "hate recruiters": sending the irrelevant
emails, etc.
fib(n) // x(n):=x(n-1)+x(n-2), n > 2; x(1):=1; x(2):=2
{
if(n < 1) // error
if(n == 1) return 1;
if(n == 2) return 2;
n1 = 1; n2 = 2;
for(i = 3; i <= n; i++) {
new_n = n1 + n2;
if(i == n) return new_n; // C.R. asked why in the middle?
n1 = n2;
n2 = new_n;
}
/*NOTREACHED*/
}
bit(n) // bit accumulator
{
if(n < 0) // error
if(n == 0) return 0;
if(n == 1) return 1;
n1 = 0; n2 = 1;
for(i = 2; i <= n; i++) {
new_n = (n1 + n2) % 2;
if(i == n) return new_n;
n1 = n2;
n2 = new_n;
}
/* NOTREACHED*/
}
bit(n) // bit accumulator
{
// 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
// ----- ----- ----- -
// 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0
if((n % 3) == 0) return 0;
return 1;
}
A total of 5 to 7 years experience out of which at least
two years should be writing general low-level code such
as Drivers/Diagnostics and Linux Kernel/Driver experience.
-In-depth Linux experience is required
-Network/protocol experience will be a huge plus
-Solid C programming and analytical skills
-Excellent inter-personal communication skills
-Minimum level of education: BS in CS, EE or equivalent.
The team enjoyed meeting you; however, at this time they
have selected another candidate for the role. If another
role becomes available in the near future I will definitely
let you know.
I saw your profile on Job Site, which I believe
well qualifies you for a position with Intel in
Portland, OR. Please contact me ASAP [...]
Should be a graphics software developer with a
degree, or at least 3-5 years of experience.
Mid - Sr. level.
Validation experience is a plus.
Need an experienced resource familiar with BSD,
validation methods, driver level or kernel level
debug and/or driver development.
Analyzing the test coverage of BSD stack,
identifying & filling test gaps, helping to develop
debug methodology for BSD environment, offering
input to developers as to potential problem areas
in design.
We are creating a FreeBSD kernel here in VCG. If
someone has extensive experience with unix/linux,
then that would helpful. Ideally someone who is
comfortable with debug and test of BSD is preferred.
A SW developer with test/validation experience is
exactly what we want.
"Using Ctrl-F as their primary method for reviewing resumes"
This is to ask for your interest and availability for
a Contract to hire/Full time position with a Telecom
Client. Would love to have your thoughts and a copy
of your updated resume in a WORD document along with
contact details. I will be glad to get in touch with
you to discuss the opening in person.
You can get in touch with me through mail or also call
my cell phone number given below. I look forward to
hearing from you soon and hope you have a great day!
The company is a well-known, well established, company
located in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania (voted “Most
Liveable” city). It offers competitive salary +
benefits + relocation assistance.
Actually this company - for Pittsburgh - pays
beyond what most technical companies pay their engineers.
I'm not sure if this is cultural, but it is not
appropriate to ask that question up front.
First the question is fair. Plus I've been around the
block a few times (10 years in business) so I know
precisely what the interviewing etiquette is.
It's cultural all right: some recruiters/companies
would have one do umpteenth interviews only to reveal
at the end that they want to go as cheap as possible
and pay below industry average.
It's the culture of "time well spent" on my side.
Therefore its is unbelievably appropriate to ask that
first.
As for the Pittsburgh locale they have to compete
with employers/wages found elsewhere so if they want
to attract good people their pay levels should be
sensibly similar.
Our Client ultimately makes its offers based on a
candidate's years of experience, and their salary
requirement.
I understand you don't want to waste your time,
and I appreciate that.
I saw your profile on a job portal and it seems to be
a good fit for an opportunity with one of our esteemed
clients, a giant in wireless communications industry.
Title: Embedded Software Engineer
Duration: 6 months contract to hire
Location: San Deigo, CA
